If you can’t beat them, eat them (the hurtful words)

Of course, not the people, but their hurtful words. As someone whose life didn’t start out like that of the vast majority of people around me, it’s not hard to see why people like me, i.e. adoptees, might want to shy away from being themselves. It’s easy for many to say “of course you should be yourself”, when the person they’ve grown up with probably wasn’t instantly rejected at birth. It also doesn’t help that many times, being told to just be yourself seems to be more of a phrase than something people actually mean. In my experience, trying to be yourself, especially if you’re very different, has often been met with words that have made me not want to be myself. But while I’ve tried to be someone else, there’s always been the nagging feeling that this can’t be right.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not pointing finger at any one person. I’m merely stating that society (at least where I grew up) feeds this idea that you can be yourself as long as you’re like the rest. Is it good to have special talents? Of course, as long as they’re not more special than that of others. Is it okay to not do the things that others expect from you? Of course, as long as your interests align with theirs. Is it good to look different? Of course, as long as everybody agrees. This world is full of ironies and hypocrisy, and there’s no getting around that.

Never in a thousand lifetimes did I ever think a little nobody like me would be so interesting

People often say “just let it run off your back” when you get hurtful words. I don’t agree. I’ve chosen to take the words, chew them up and turn it into useful energy. Pardon the shoehorned analogy, but like anything you eat, some of it will end up making you sick. Most of it, however, whether gourmet or junk food, will power you to do things you couldn’t otherwise do. All it takes is to realise is that that food (hurtful words) has the power to take you to the stars. And you know what, after 35+ years, I think I’ve gotten my first glimpse of this. And no, I didn’t say it wouldn’t take a hecka long time. It’s taken a lot of chewing and processing.

If you’ve been following me lately, you may have noticed that suddenly, me and my family have garnered a lot of attention in Finnish media. I may have published things here and there before, but getting the Father of the Year 2023 award in Finland suddenly saw a rush to get my life story covered by many news outlets, such as Svenska Yle, local newspaper Länsiväylä, the largest Swedish-speaking newspaper in Finland Hufvudstadsbladet, and Lutheran Church of Espoo. Was this what I wanted all along? No, never in a thousand lifetimes did I ever think a little nobody like me would be so interesting. But I’m proud that not suffering in silence has, apparently, been inspiring to far more people than I knew. I know I have a lot of readers here on my blog, but I don’t know who you are, only from whence you hail.

What I’ve learned from this is that there may be trustworthy people out there, after all

Am I done and have reached all my goals now? I’d be a fool if I said I’d ever be done with learning and growing, but I’d also lie if I said that it hasn’t been a massive confidence booster to have so many people suddenly accepting and interested in who I am. On the one hand, none of this changes anything, as I decided many years ago that I’ll be happily ignoring what everybody thinks about me, so I could do what I felt I was made for. But on the other hand, I can stop ignoring those of you who may, in fact, not be out to hurl hurtful words at me. What I’ve learned from this is that maybe not all of humanity is screwed (up), and that there may be trustworthy people out there, after all. And for that, I’m utmost grateful. Thanks for sticking with me, even when I haven’t always been the most loving of people.