I'll be honest: When we first found out (prenatally) that our boy had Down syndrome, it was devastating. I had to fight my inner demons saying things like "what will the world think about him and us?", "What if I don't love him?" and "Will I be happy?". I think it's safe to say that... Continue Reading →
Three years married; experiences enough for 30
I can't believe I'm saying this, but having and raising a baby has been one of the easier parts of our three years of marriage. Today is our 3-year (leather) wedding anniversary (we got married on Feb 29, 2020), and it is quite remarkable how--in these three years--there have been so many life-changing events that... Continue Reading →
Burn-out is one of the best things that could’ve happened to me
I know how this sounds, but bear with me. As I look back at my life, I see a pathological people-pleaser, literally unable to put his own needs first before helping others. While I theoretically knew I had a problem with this, somehow I also imagined myself being an endless source of helping hands. But... Continue Reading →
When it’s all said and done
I find myself sitting here, half-way through my vacation, staring out the window. Outside, the rain pours down, and I think to myself, "some vacation this is." And then I stop myself and remember why the grass is green, why the birds fly, and why I was able to have a proper meal on my... Continue Reading →
Crossings: A poem about a moment in time where life and death intertwine
An end and a beginning Unraveling, writing itself Two moments in time Where neither is the past And neither is the future Time, like the winter outside Seems frozen, yet twirly Like the snow flakes falling Settle and become one My gaze fixed upon a moment When I'm none the wiser Yet the air seems... Continue Reading →
Beyond all doubt: How orphanhood is shaping my fatherhood
No matter the culture, no matter the language, no matter the childโone universal fact transcends every border and every notion man could ever invent: a child is born to love. There are many things a child can do without, but a sense of belonging isnโt one of them. But I am about to have a... Continue Reading →
2021: CMT, pregnancy, miscarriage, hyperemesis, Down syndrome, cancer
I don't even know what to think, say or feel anymore. I don't even know how all of this has managed to fit into just one year, much less how I am (and we're) still alive. I think I know what it feels like to be a tiny ship in a vast ocean, one moment... Continue Reading →
Special is the new normal
One of life's biggest ironies is that everybody wants to feel special, but be normal. If that doesn't make any sense to you, then please allow me to elaborate. For as much as people do their utmost to stand out among the crowd through fame, money and the things they possess, deep inside there's always... Continue Reading →
Pregnancy loss and miscarriage: a husband’s experience
It's a subject most expectant mothers and fathers know about, but few seem to acknowledge or talk about (especially the latter). Pregnancy loss can have such a huge impact on your life, and although miscarriages are common (particularly during your first pregnancy), it feels like me and my wife are the only ones out there... Continue Reading →
Learning to walk with a degenerative neuromuscular disease (CMT Type 2)
You know how they say you never forget how to ride a bike? Well, I do, every day. Using my muscles --particularly my leg muscles-- has been a challenge practically all my life, but even with minimal amount of muscles, you can learn to walk. Only thing is that you have to learn it again... Continue Reading →