The blog of Christopher Gullmans
Of course, not the people, but their hurtful words. As someone whose life didn't start out like that of the vast majority of people around me, it's not hard to see why people like me, i.e. adoptees, might want to shy away from being themselves. It's easy for many to say "of course you should... Continue Reading →
As I'm typing this on my phone in Amadeus' hospital room, my son is resting in his hospital bed, hooked up to a device that monitors his vital signs, while a soft "hisssss" can be heard from his oxygen mask. Meanwhile, my phone is buzzing left and right with congratulations on having been awarded 2023... Continue Reading →
I know where I was born, but I don't know where I come from. I know where I live, but I don't know where I belong. I know what I call home right now, but I don't know how to hold on to it. I dream of permanence, but is that just a figment of... Continue Reading →
Beat, little heart, your daddy's got you safe and sound, Let my arms be your fortress and your rock solid ground, That you may look upon the world not out of worry and fear, Knowing you can meet it head-on with love as your spear. Beat, little heart, show the world you've got what it... Continue Reading →
I'll be honest: When we first found out (prenatally) that our boy had Down syndrome, it was devastating. I had to fight my inner demons saying things like "what will the world think about him and us?", "What if I don't love him?" and "Will I be happy?". I think it's safe to say that... Continue Reading →
I can't believe I'm saying this, but having and raising a baby has been one of the easier parts of our three years of marriage. Today is our 3-year (leather) wedding anniversary (we got married on Feb 29, 2020), and it is quite remarkable how--in these three years--there have been so many life-changing events that... Continue Reading →
I know how this sounds, but bear with me. As I look back at my life, I see a pathological people-pleaser, literally unable to put his own needs first before helping others. While I theoretically knew I had a problem with this, somehow I also imagined myself being an endless source of helping hands. But... Continue Reading →
I find myself sitting here, half-way through my vacation, staring out the window. Outside, the rain pours down, and I think to myself, "some vacation this is." And then I stop myself and remember why the grass is green, why the birds fly, and why I was able to have a proper meal on my... Continue Reading →
No matter the culture, no matter the language, no matter the child–one universal fact transcends every border and every notion man could ever invent: a child is born to love. There are many things a child can do without, but a sense of belonging isn’t one of them. But I am about to have a... Continue Reading →
I don't even know what to think, say or feel anymore. I don't even know how all of this has managed to fit into just one year, much less how I am (and we're) still alive. I think I know what it feels like to be a tiny ship in a vast ocean, one moment... Continue Reading →
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